So this afternoon I have been reading many a blog to try and understand how this all works. To be honest I have discovered that even if mine doesn’t take off, I will still read and write as it can be awfully satisfying.
I’ve discovered that there is a lot of material surrounding domestic violence and emotional abuse. I’m a very controversial person, however even I am forced to take very seriously the act of people (women included) torturing each other to the extent that is being discussed. Emotion abuse seems to be more commonly written about, so let’s talk about that. My research has enlightened me to two things in particular: there is no specific type to the perpetrators. You would have thought that they would have similar backgrounds, appearances, personality traits etc., but they don’t. ANYONE can be responsible for ruining lives, without ringing any alarm bells. The second thing is that the women who talk about being abused by men, seem to imply that if they had realised sooner they could have gotten out. Things appear to go from naught to one hundred in a matter of weeks/months, so there is no real gradual worsening of the situation to contend with, thus no time to ponder how to end it.
I do have some experience with this sort of thing, so say this sort of thing because I HATE using the same words over and over, and I’m not about to start experimenting with terminology on this subject, for risk of causing upset. One of my most recent experiences was with a woman who disclosed to me that her partner had done some truly disturbing things to her (in my mind), but she wasn’t at all prepared to leave him. I fear honesty may land me in trouble here, however I’m going to say this anyway as I think it could help she’d some perspective for a lot of people – I didn’t entirely believe this woman when she told me. I thought she was either exaggerating, or it had never happened. To this day I will never know if the former was accurate or not. She went out of her way to cheat on her partner, and bragged about it as if she wanted him to find out. Correct me if I’m wrong but women sufferers are usually afraid of their abusers? I later found out that every man she slept with was married, which caused even more confusion. Why was this woman chasing after men who would never want anything other than a mindless fuck. Then after many conversations and a much greater insight, I began to understand. She wanted them to help her, and the most likely saviour would be a man who respected women enough make vows and stick by them. Though they went sticking by them any more because they were being unfaithful. They didn’t want their wives to find out about their flings in any case, therefore when she eventually told them what was going on and asked for help, they pretty much dragged her out of their houses by her hair and told her never to bring trouble to their door again. Turns out they were mindless fucks themselves. Although when I tried to offer to help this lady get out of the awful situation she was in, she really didnt want to kmow.
I have to ask this to anyone who reads and has been through it… Is this typical? Did you try to get other men to help you get out? And if so how did you go about it?